Terry Fuch reporting

"Our 'Japanese' Tour in Japan (aka Ron's house) was a total...hell, I don't know. The Japanese crowd got to be a part of the action, receiving autographs and other assorted communicable diseases.

Los Braquitos were attacked as they arrived by the recently returned Stevenator and his cohort, Commander Chaos (or Ass Commander, fuck if I know...)--AND THEY ARE BROTHERS. Well the brothers Braq had a card up their sleeve that night...the Long Dong Silvers faced Los Braquitos all right--BUT THERE WAS A THIRD BRAQUITO!!! Yes that's right, the camoflaged Undertaker known as Christopher Regal!!! Seesaw battle back-and-forth as Stevenator barked orders like he was some kind of god (again...fag.), but Los Braquitos got the W.

Then came the excitement: the round-robin tournament to crown a new GAW Food-Stamp champion (basically, Gary, it means we have an Intercontinental title now). If you need me to explain to you what a round-robin tourney is then go watch a King of the Ring PPV, you jackoff. Here's the breakdown of the matches:

El Quindro (which, translated, means "The Quindry")vs. Yo-Yancha
Stevenator vs. the 4th Reich

Interesting thing that was never mentioned on the show: Yo-Yancha had a warrant out for his arrest while wrestling for New Japan Garage Wrestling. He is wanted for raping a little girl. As Yo-Yancha arrived in 'Japan' he was taken into custody. We had to think fast so a local NJGW jobber named Maximo Sanchez was selected to take the non-Japanese-Japenese sensation's place against the monster El Quindro (who is not Mexican in any way).

Maximo was apparently tired because he got off work from his 14-hour shift working in one of the factories nearby (he still had his apron on). I wasn't on-hand to witness his performance, but according to my fellow broadcast colleagues Guy Whitey Corngood and....uhm...(dammit, what was Ron's name?)...he was a very boring wrestler. This was basically a squash match. Quindro dominates the scrawny little worker and goes to sign some autographs.

Stevenator fought the 4th Reich in a screwjob match. Stevie paid off the ref with what I believe to have been a blowjob (it's Steve people! More faggotry jokes. Valerie must hate us all...)

For reasons unknown, Stevenator laid claim to 'Japan' and claimed to be the new Emperor. He even had his own throne (which looked like a sofa) constructed and placed at ringside, playing like he was a badass Shogun (Levi, I leave it to you to hurl a Steve insult here).

Quindro faced Stevenator in the finals to declare a winner of the new Food-Stamp title. Shit happened, and Quindro won. As he celebrated, almost everybody rushed the...mattresses...and a chaotic battle ensued. Quindro called out the one slant-eyed (RACIAL SLUUUUUURR!!!) fan who believed in him, and then cheap-shotted the poor boy from behind with his newly-won title...then the 4th Reich made off with the belt, presumably to lead into a TLC match.