Breaking News: GAW bought out by WWE
By Andre Clivesdale, Wrestling Discreditor

5/18/07
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In what is certainly considered to be the strangest move in the 145 year history of Ghetto Apartment Wrestling (GAW), the company has been bought out by World Wrestling Entertainment. It is believed that the promotion's wrestlers will be repackaged and distributed throughout WWE's three rosters.

Christopher Regal will be sent to Smackdown, repackaged as a genetic clone created from the DNA of William Regal and Chris Benoit. Stevenator will be a part of ECW, repackaged with a gimmick portraying him as a gay man who is in love with CM Punk. The Horny Toad will be sent to Raw, with a buildup about how he is a stiff worker and eventually have a long-running feud with Umaga. El Braquito will be portrayed as a TNA fan who obsesses about Christian Cage, and how he will soon return to WWE. Glenn Chachi will act as a translator for the Great Kahli, helping him ease into a face turn which will lead to Kahli having a new gimmick as a ladies' man.

Further plans in the promotion's future are a GAW reunion ppv, with the theme being that it's named after a defunct WCW ppv (more than likely Spring Stapmede).